Woolly thinking?

I was listening to a fascinating 'Tomorrow's World' kind of programme on the radio today. Apparently, in the future (and we're talking about 1500 years away) you'll be able to go to Australia by a more direct route - ie straight through the centre of the earth.

Obviously, the heat at the planet's core makes this impossible at the moment - we'd frazzle (never mind your Factor 50; Factor 5000 would be more appropriate!)

However, ongoing research has proven that one day, this kind of travel will be achievable....and in the most eco-friendly way possible. Using a combination of gravity and thermodynamic lava flow, we'll be shuttled down an intercontinental corridor at unimaginable speed, in an insulated cocoon coated in excrement from Saharan ants. (According to scientists, the insects' waste can withhold temperatures hotter than the surface of the sun, thereby protecting anything underneath it.)

Sadly, we won't live to see this, but future generations will be able to visit their relatives down under (or up over) within a couple of hours.

They'll be called PooTubers.