I think I solved the world's plastic crisis today

I was digging compost out of the bin this afternoon to make the first bed - for herbs - in my battered garden, and every forkful came out with plastic impaled on the tines. Now, I never put plastic into the compost, not even tea bags any more, so this is clearly, and very surprisingly, self-generating.

And excellent news. It is a little-known fact that most plastic can be recycled twice at most, after which it is too degraded and is destined for incinerators or landfill. The oil companies pretend that re-re-re-recycling is the solution to all our problems (even though their own research shows that this is not the case) so that we will not reflect too much about using profitable (for them) plastic packaging and buying airline tickets and fuel for our cars.

But henceforth we can all compost our tea leaves, onion skins and orange peel, create all the plastic we need, and start to focus on oil consumption instead of recycling. Genius, eh!

Just after I'd taken this, a flying pig crash landed and knocked almost all the blossom onto the ground.