Day 1 achievement

I'll tell you what the new Taoiseach* has achieved on his first day in his big new job: total fucken chaos. And not much else. 
 
Crash barriers had been erected on Merrion Square and Kildare Street, possibly to prevent the formation of a spontaneous mob armed with pitchforks and torches. Something that would have seemed ludicrous a few years ago but is definitely much more of a possibility in the age of social media-fuelled populist nonsense. 
 
So the city centre traffic was at an absolute standstill. It's not like it's particularly easy-flowing and stress-free at the best of times but this morning the gridlock was of biblical proportions. 
As I weaved my way through the mother of all traffic jams I sort of expected to find most of these drivers still stuck in the same spot and desiccated at the end of the day. And then I remembered that desiccation is not a very common phenomenon in Dublin**. 
 
Well, I can tell you, this new non-elected Taoiseach has lost a lot of potential voters in this morning's traffic chaos. 
He is the youngest to reach the highest office in the land (Taoiseach was the second highest position - after Archbishop of Dublin - until the mid 90s). It is also very likely that he will be the one with the shortest period of time in office.
I have actually already forgotten his name, that goes to show.
 
The lad on the way out just decided he no longer wanted the job he had been scheming for for the best part of his life. This is a sign that democracy truly is in danger when the only ones still interested in taking part are the ones hell bent on destroying it.
 
He had a fuck-this-for-a-game-of-soldiers moment and switched on his Out of Office message in Outlook (“Thank you for e-mail. I no longer work as Taoiseach, please contact spam-filter@irish-government.ie if your query is urgent, otherwise please wait until Mary-Lou is elected. Or has seized power. PS: it wasn’t me snogging the young lad while high on E in the gay club in the video shared on social media. It was a deep fake. PPS: bollix to that”)
 
I’ve actually forgot his name also. Which is another bad sign for the future of democracy. They all tend to blend into the same magma of empty formulas, dark blue suits, meaningless press conferences and a firm belief in letting the Market take care of things.
 
* pronounced Tea-shock, like when you take a hasty sip from your cuppa and realise that your tea is way hotter than you had anticipated 
** an apple left into a bowl does not slowly wither and dry over a number of weeks. It turns to compost by 6pm.