Only Foals and Horses...

Morning Rishi...

Morning Keir, what are we up to today then?

Well I thought we could go in for that big race the grooms have been talking about all week - the Fancy Continental.

I think it's called the Grand National. And we're not fast enough for that one.

Eh? Did I or did I not win a trophy at the school sports day?

Yes. But the egg and spoon race doesn't count.

Being fast is in our genes though. Dad says we're related to Red Rum!

Nooooo.....we're related to Red Buckfast. The last time he tried to jump a hedge, it took them 2 hours to cut him free. His ears got stuck in the holly and he was sneezing berries for weeks!

What about uncle Donald - wasn't he famous?

Yes, but not for running. He was a ventriloquist - toured all the stables, with his wee doll.

So basically he was talking out of his ass?

Constantly. And then there was Shergar - the one who disappeared. He was a great, great, great uncle or something.

Allegedly. You know he didn't really disappear though, don't you? He hated all that fame - emigrated to Shetland. Ended up getting a job as a police horse....criminals never stood a chance when he went chasing them down Lerwick High Street.

So why do humans think he disappeared?

I'll tell you why. British humans never bother to learn a foreign language, do they. If they spoke even the teeniest bit of equine, some horse would have grassed on him. Especially if it had an upset tummy.....

Not like us then. I'm almost fluent in donkey and you're getting pretty good at mule.

Speaking of which, we'd better do our homework or mum'll be after us.

Blimey yes. Actually, I've noticed something about mum recently.

Have you? What?

She's becoming a bit of a nag.....