Poor review

And so the big weekend is finally here: a Butlins Big Weekender, 1980s style. What have we done?!

We decided to embrace the cheese and enjoy it: what’s the point of being there and being miserable?

We saw Five One Star (the ratings have dropped!), Sonia and Platinum Queen, a Queen tribute act. We also had a bop at the silent disco.

After Sonia, a bloke came right up to me so all I could see of him was his face.

He said some stuff I couldn’t hear over the loud music, then he said ‘You’re a good looking girl.’

‘Thank you,’ I said. ‘It’s kind of you to say.’

‘Don’t you like me?’

Oh dear. I could see only one way to play this: let him know I’m already ‘owned’ by someone. ‘I’m married.’

I turned away from his disappointed face to my friend, then glanced back to make sure he wasn’t following or anything. He was dressed as a nun.