Contemplative Self-Portrait

Why do I always have to be the one who instigates the reconcile? She says she hates arguing but then doesn't ever do anything whatsoever to 'put it behind us'. She's never the one to hug first, or to kiss first, or to ever apologise first. Just how long would it take her to snap and apologise? Would she ever do it? Is her pride too strong that she'd prefer us to split up before actually swallowing her pride? I'm getting sick and tired of arguing and I'm getting even more sick and tired of being the first one to put an end to the insults and shouting. It's always me. I'm always in the wrong. I'm always at fault for something or other and I'm always the one to reconcile first. Why??

Plus other deep thoughts.