Ai! ai! IELTS

The most aseptic academic experience I have ever had. Smoothly guided through my chair. Pencil, eraser and sharpener provided. Same precise 21ºC in every single corner of the building. The word RELAX was on the blackboard before the kick-start. Impeccable Dolby surround system in the listening test. Spotless speech throughout the invigilators mouths. Any question from the candidates. Phones, wallets, jumpers, suspicious pockets, nothing allowed.
You better get going or your English will put you down!