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The day dawned bright and clear and, by dawn, Ottawacker Jr. was downstairs waiting for parental presence. This could only mean one thing: the day of the big holiday treat had finally arrived: a visit to the new AviaSim Flight Simulator in Kanata.
 
By 10:45am, we had arrived at the Brookstreet Hotel (525 Legget Drive Ottawa, ON K2K 2W2). We’d booked a 1’20” session for this, Ottawacker Jr.’s first time around, because, well, an hour didn’t seem long enough, and you never know how long introductions and the tour of the material will take and, well, why not? To be honest, I had no idea what to expect. When researching it, the reviews on the web seemed enthusiastic. But you never quite know who or what is writing a review, so I prefer to keep a certain level of cynicism. Not quite at the Alanis Morissette level of cynicism, but you get the picture.
 
For Ottawacker Jr.’s session – and indeed for all of the AviaSim sessons, he was to be accompanied by an actual pilot. Not merely a person who is familiar with the interface, but an ACTUAL PILOT WHO FLIES AN ACTUAL PLANE. Having been around Ottawacker Jr. for a while, you will no doubt realize he must have been feeling something similar to what Moses had been feeling going up the mountain to meet God. Had the roles been reversed, I imagine I would have been a little more hesitant and tongue-tied that Ottawacker Jr. was. But, this is Ottawacker Jr., and needless to say, he took to it like a duck to water.
 
Our pilot (an actual pilot who flies an actual plane and was wearing full pilot regalia) was called Alexis and was very nice. He eyed Ottawacker Jr. up warily: as we had arrived, another boy had been exiting – accompanied also by parents. “Wow,” they all said simultaneously. Mrs. Ottawacker took that as a good sign; Ottawacker Jr. took that as a very good sign; I wasn’t sure whether the parents meant “that was really good” or “thank fuck that’s over.”
 
But once in, the actual pilot who flies an actual plane and was wearing full pilot regalia was brilliant. Alexis gave Ottawacker Jr. a quick tour of the simulator and asked him where he wanted to fly to.
 
“Skiathos,” said Ottawacker Jr.
 
Alexis, whose routes were probably limited to Montreal and Toronto, looked a little surprised, but went along for the ride (as it were). Having found the airport code for Skiathos (JSI, in case you are interested), he entered it into the computer, and our location was transformed from a dark closet in the Brookstreet Hotel to a brilliant location in the Aegean Sea. Before you knew it, we were at the Skiathos Alexandros Papadiamantis Airport, and Ottawacker Jr. was taxiing for take off.
 
Having been told how to fly the plane by Ottawacker Jr., Alexis was now in a position to tell him what to do. Thankfully, Ottawacker Jr. listened. This is a phenomenon of which I was hitherto unaware. They flew for 15 minutes, then landed in Athens. The simulator was very realistic – at a couple of stages, as I was standing up to take photos, the plane banked, and I felt as if I were losing my balance – and the time passed at a commensurate rate to the plane.
 
Before you knew it, we were taking off from Victoria Airport, destination Vancouver. The, having landed at Vancouver, we took off again and headed for Seattle. By this time, we had been joined in the passenger seats by Mitch, who also fancied a quick trip around the globe.
 
As the 1’20” session came to an end, Ottawacker Jr. was ecstatic. No doubt birthday and Christmas requests will be forthcoming.
 
Following that, we headed off to the Barley Mow for lunch, before heading home, where I went straight to the chair and slept for an hour.
 
Maybe it was the jet lag, maybe a dodgy pint, maybe some dodgy food, but I suddenly started feeling rather sick. By 7pm, having abrogated my responsibilities to take Ottawacker Jr. to his football practice, I was in bed, shivering uncontrollably (it was still close to 90º here, so it wasn’t the cold). Then I was sweating profusely, shivering again, sweating some more… I slept fitfully, having strange dreams in which I was on a plane, being approached by a pilot telling me he had handed the controls over to my son and could I tell him what time his bedtime was.