Bluetooth speaker

I bought this thing from a well known capitalist enterprise, tried to connect it to my laptop within the last hour and was met with consumate indifference. It's supposed to be an upmarket bluetooth speaker. The computer or Microsoft says:  Have you tried this?  (And that.) I tried standing on my head for five minures, but it didn't make any difference. When I gave up and switched the bloody thing off. It waved goodbye with a bassy tune. Bastard!