If you are going to give me a list...

Having got out of bed at 5.30, having lain still in bed since 4 for fear of waking the household, the morning was spent rather productively, working on New Zealand stuff and laying to rest the Honeydew List I had received while my back was turned. The list had several interesting things on it, like “Book train tickets”, “Join CAA”, “Book Ottawacker Jr.’s annual eye test”, etc. To this, I added in booking my own eye test, getting an appointment with the foot nurse for an apparent verruca I have developed, and placing an order with the LCBO for some wine.
 
Of course, little goes smoothly. VIA Rail, those inept purveyors of train travel, were running a promotion through which you can get a 10% discount by booking on a Tuesday. As we are heading away later in the year, we decided it would be a good idea to book early. The only issue was, of course, that having ordered, the promotion wasn’t showing in my basket. So, I called the Help Line. FFS – what a mistake that was. As I sat there quietly seething, the piped muzak playing over the speakerphone, I seriously considered just binning the whole thing and driving down to Toronto instead. Then, 35 minutes later and thoroughly sick of Engelbert Humperdinck, I got through to an agent. There, it transpired, the discount was available, but only on tickets being booked for the next 4 days, were only available on the lowest category of trains, and could only be used by hunchbacks with a Napoleon complex.
 
“Does it say that somewhere on the website?” I asked.
“I’m not sure, sir.”
“I can tell you now that it doesn’t.”
“That’s unfortunate. Not sure what to say, sir…. Except, it’s a pretty lame discount anyway.”
 
Taken aback at his candour and honesty, I was silent for a second. So, he carried on.
 
“If you are a member of the CAA, sir, you can get the same discount anyway. All members get 10% off, and you can use it on any tickets you buy. It’s a better deal – and you also get cancellation coverage on your ticket. So, whenever I am unfortunate enough to go anywhere by train, I book using that discount code rather than the employee discount code, which is, as I mentioned, a bit lame.”
 
Having thanked him profusely, I went and joined the CAA ($245), then went to buy the tickets (for which my new discount code gave me 10%) and was perfectly happy. If only Mrs. Ottawacker could put the elements in the right order on her Honeydew List, I thought. Out loud. Until she heard.
 
Then, I had a bit of Face Time with my friend Mark, who is in his house (which I now call my house) in the Drôme. He whirled the phone around so I could see the mountains and sigh. I also learned they are moving house in London. Then I went off to book the other appointments, had lunch with Ottawacker Jr. and the purveyor of lists, and then made my way resentfully to the gym for my appointment with Anna.
 
Following that, I came home, showered again, had a piece of toast, and took Ottawacker Jr. to the next of his call up matches. This time, he was playing against another Gloucester side, in Gloucester. The result, however, was the same: a 3-2 defeat. He played well enough – and has managed the transition to full field with full-sized nets quite well. Not that I am surprised, but you often wonder.