Back at It...

Except I'm not.... 

I had to do the two Inset days, but can work at home the rest of the week, as my mat leave doesn't start officially until next week. Which feels really strange...I felt very nervous about going back and didn't want to go at all, but it was actually really nice to be back, and to see everybody etc. The only problem is, as we worked on getting the classroom ready, I felt all fired up about the new beginning, and then sad that I won't be part of it :-/

I love September, and there's something about being their 'first' teacher, and the looking after and settling them in, and when I go back, it'll be an established class that won't feel like mine! 

It was horrible getting up so early though, and I felt a bit funny sitting in the hall today. I had the weird "I feel like I might pass out' feeling, which worried me, but after some googling, it may be more of the feeling of losing control that can be part of a panic attack, which is probably quite normal given I'm about to experience a major life change...I felt a bit vulnerable the rest of the day, but I've decided that if it was a panic thing, the best thing is not to feed into it. 

I'll be 38 weeks this Friday, so technically anything could happen, and I've started to worry about the 'when' even though I didn't really before. I was supposed to have a pre-op appointment on Thursday, which would have given me a specific date for my c-section, but it's been moved to the following week as it's too early....

I wanted a date to put me out of my misery!