A Little Walk...

to pick Lucy up from school :-)

Yesterday was horrible. I woke up so cross as I'd hardly had any sleep, and felt like I was resentful towards the baby, something I never wanted to feel. But lack of sleep is a form of torture, and even though I know he can't help it, it's hard to manage your feelings and your tolerance is so much lower. He seemed a lot worse, and the screeching seemed to be so much pain from silent reflux and tummy pain. 

My mum took him for a bit to give me a break, as I tried to ignore the crying and obviously couldn't, and I dozed for a bit. By lunchtime he was a bit more settled and I'd had a bath and put my make-up on which helps me to feel better. Shelle asked if we could pick up Lucy, and it gave me something to look forward to. Then Little Ro came over, so we went to school together with the baby in the sunshine (17 degrees!). Lucy was so happy to see us, she ran and threw her arms around me, before holding the pram and pushing it with Ro :-)

She wanted to go to the park, but we managed to persuade her to walk to the shop and get a lolly instead, and she was happy with that. We had a nice walk around the block, with lots of chatter, and she skipped along the pavement ahead of us as we neared home. 

I managed to nip to Waitrose, then home for a snack and more Lucy time, as she didn't go home until nearly 6pm.

Then things deteriorated....baby screamed more and refused to settle- the kind of turning beet-red/blue with rage/pain/distress and impossible to soothe. With stress levels beginning to rise, my dad suggested we take him to A and E, and not wanting to have another horrific night with a poorly baby, I said yes, and we left a few minutes later. Unfortunately I forgot the changing bag and milk which he had to go back for later....

Although the baby screamed all the way, by the time we got there he has calmed, which always makes me feel a bit of a liar! But they saw him straight away as he's so young, and then by 9pm we were taken from our room alone back to the PAU who saw him last week. They examined him and asked what was wrong, and although they said before it was silent reflux, I wanted them to understand that this felt worse and was it really just that? They were very understanding, and as I was close to tears explaining how I just felt that it wasn't right, the doctor patted my elbow and said "mum, it's ok, I heard the screams", which validated that I wasn't just a fussy first-time mum. She prescribed another formula, this one dairy free and having been calmed by the nurses, we headed home at 10pm. They were going to give him a paracetamol suppository for pain, but he seemed better so we resisted. He weed on me while we were there, it was boiling hot inside, and by the time I'd schlepped the carseat all the way back to the entrance, I was sweltering and it was lovely to step into the cold air! 

Once home, I got the baby to bed and fed with his new formula and had a much more peaceful night. Although he cried a little, it was fussiness rather than cries of pain and frustration, so things felt a little brighter the next day. 

What a day... he's only 4 weeks old and we've been to A and E twice, and the PAU three times... I hope he'll feel better and that this is the end of it.