'Buy the Jeans' they said.

They'll make you Jeg skinny, they promised (woohoo!).
Your legs will finally be low and tapered (huh?)
The only drawback is you can only move around bouncing
on your toes. Plays hell with your pedicure.

I had to amputate one leg and have the other split into 2
in the end, but by 'eck, you should see me move.