HeidiHH

By HeidiHH

Lights of the darkest day

inside.

I was working from 7 to 15. Alone until 11:45. Got hit by one resident, so I now have a small bruise under my eye. I was connecting his gastric feeding tube, for which we need both hands. He sometimes gets confused and might have pain (he can't talk) and could be also getting dementia. We've been talking all autumn that soon we can not handle him alone. He's been pulling hair, hitting, kicking... So it was only a matter of time. But even when we are alone, we can't leave him without food and medication.

One more day. Then I'll have 4 days off and then 3 more days and after that I'm a free agent. Every day I think that I have so little left that I can do it and be in good spirits, but then I go in and see all the things that were not done the previous evening and I just get so discouraged and sad and I get the feeling that I'm tested to the last day.

Tomorrow I'll take the staff gifts with me and will give them. That way everyone will receive their gift just around Christmas. At this point I don't even know why I bother, but it's always been my stye to give little gifts to my closest coworkers.

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