Home is where the heart is.

I was sent for an ECG today.

"How is it?" I asked.

"Well the good news is you still have a pulse." came the reply.

"No seriously..." I said.

"Everything is high." He said.

"In a good way, right?" I said hopefully.

He peered over his pince-nez and slowly shook his head.

"Have you blipped today?" he asked.

"Err...no, not yet." I said.

"Best not leave it too late..." he said, knocking out his pipe on the heel of his shoe.

There you have it. So I took a photo of the print out from the machine that goes 'PING!' and like an idiot googled all the measurements and readings. I wish I hadn't.