Predators

You know those bits in movies where the film-makers basically point at something and go "Look!  Look!  Look at this!" then they distract you for an hour or so, then bring BACK the thing they wanted you to look at in order to cleverly wrap up the plot.  I'm not explaining this very well.  Like they'll have a character say, "Did I mention, I was a champion fly fisherman back in 1965?" or "Oh yes, I've always had the ability to lassoe things with my willy", and then quickly move on to the main story.  It's only in the last 5 minutes of the film that fly fishing suddenly becomes CRUCIAL to the plot, or Indiana Jones manages to kill the lead Nazi by strangling him in way no-one could have anticipated*.

I say this because there are loads of moments like that near the beginning of Predators.  But here's where I have to give it points.  It then completely blindsides you by NOT using any of these "plot implants" in the way you would expect.  The story has a bunch of soldiers plus an unfortunate doctor being kidnapped by predators and plopped into a jungle in order to be hunted.  It's a welcome return to the original and best Predator setting with added little bonuses like we get to meet the Predator's hunting dogs and there's a neat cameo by that famous actor Spoily McSpoilerson playing "the one who got away" who handily manages to explain what's going on to the confused Predator-Prey.

So that's the good news.  On the bad side, the action never quite ramps up the way I was hoping it would.  The sense of unknown from the original movie is now gone, and so all we have to look forward to is that final showdown.  In the original movie, this involved Arnold Schwarzenegger making mud-pies.  In "Predators" we have Adrien Brody who has apparently been putting steroids in his cereal because the boy has bulked UP.  Unfortunately, his plan for the final showdown is not as impressive as Arnie's.  It basically involves taking his shirt off and capering about.  So I was unimpressed.  

Don't get me wrong.  It's not a bad film.  I just wonder if it's possible to make a terrific Predator movie now that we've seen their ships, their faces and their weapons.  What's left?  Still, the whole thing moves along quickly enough, the actors play the whole thing with the right degree of conviction and there's a nice eerie moment involving Danny Trejo in a field.  But on the whole, it falls short of expectations.  Even the samurai vs predator bit felt undercooked.  5/10

*  My favourite plot implant of all time has to be Sigourney Weaver's big-mechanical-thingy-driving skills which get demonstrated about 20 minutes into Aliens and then forgotten until.... "Get away from her, you b*tch!!"