Bray-mar

Wellington, Wellington.....why are we running?

Are you blind Horatio? It's Queen Camilla - she's come to visit us!

Are you sure? How on earth do you know it's her?

The clues, dear boy. The clues!

Which are?

Well, for one thing, we're in Royal Deeside, and we know her wee holiday cottage is nearby.

Yeah, but this wifey looks a bit common. The only throne she's ever sat on, is the portaloo in the car park! Any more alleged clues?

Yes. She's a slightly raddled* dyed blonde. She's clutching a gin and tonic, she clearly knows her way round a thoroughbred....

Eh? She just asked that bloke she's with if you're a racehorse!

Class will out....and speaking of that bloke, he's obviously the King!

Is he?

Oh yes. I just heard her calling him a proper Charlie. And then she told him that if he wasn't careful, yon barbed wire fence would ruin his crown jewels....