Interview with a giraffe

"So tell me what’s it like being a giraffe?"
"Not bad. People treat me well. I mean, everyone likes a giraffe don’t they? Kids especially".
"Why do you think that is?"
"They like to look up to me. I mean I’m gentle, don’t smoke, drink or take drugs. I’ve got my feet on the ground and my head in the clouds. All ‘round pretty good role model really."
"Are there any downsides?"
"Just the obvious ones. Doors, cars, any sort of transport really. I drive a convertible all year ‘round to avoid complications. There is a bit of an issue with my personality, I’m very gentle and vegan too. So I get accused of being woke".
"How do you deal with that?"
"I find a good kick in the balls generally works well. Never underestimate a giraffe. Our hooves can be lethal".
‘Where are you living at the moment?"
"I move around. Albert Hall. Festival Hall. IMAX. Anywhere with plenty of headroom."
"Let’s talk evolution. How long did it take to get where you are today?"
‘"It’s been a long seven and a half million years. But worth it, although I don’t think we’ll be sticking our necks any further".
"Why not? Have your vertebrae reached a critical point that inhibits growth?"
"No it’s just easier to order from Deliveroo than it is to find the right diet in London. As with humans, the digital world has caused us to stop evolving."

I love being a grandpa…