At home: stripy feet, retro dress....x

There's the thing. What do you do about sun striped feet?

So I stand in front of the mirror, feeling one the one hand, a tad smug at my new clearance rail retro dress. It cost me a tenner, the fabric is so wrappy and silky and slim that I had to buy some 'Bridget Jones' pants to pull off the look.

The lady in the shop, assured me that when scanning the crowd at a wedding, that all slim, flat tummies in wrapped retro dresses would be wearing underwear that you remember your grandma wearing. I thought about that for a moment and wondered if I had got to 'that' age..

My grandma wore a surgical corset. Her posture, I remember always looked good. You see clothes in those days, were hand made, tailor measured, a seam running exactly down the contour of your body. I guess, even if your posture was poor, that your clothes made you. The wrapping so to speak.

The dress, in any case was the least of my worries. My sun tanned feet quickly became the giggle of those around. Suntanned, yes. In a brown sandal stripe across. "Not to worry" announced the shop assistant, "fake tan, is what you need on the white bits!" ....

For those who know me, fake tan is just not something I know about. The instructions seem very unnerving. I am currently in the two hour waiting stage. I hate waiting. I hate fake tan. I hate stripy feet.... I'll let you know...x