Wednesday

The day my mum died on 9 April 2009.

We knew she was dying and were told it could take up to 2 weeks. Between us, at least one of us was with her for every day of those two weeks.

Jen and Dad were at the hospital that day. I was in the fields behind the house with Millie. I rang Jen and asked, "what's the prognosis?" It was a silly joke we asked daily.

Jen replied and said, "I think it'll be very soon."

I went indoors for a sandwich with Clive when Jen rang and said Mum had died.

Stupidly, I could not believe my ears. As if it would make any difference, Clive and I dropped everything and went straight to the RUH in Bath.

Dad had gone home on the bus and we found Jen sitting outside Mum's room with a resigned look on her face.

Clive and I went in to see her. I expected her to look like she was asleep and peaceful; like you'd see on a TV drama. She didn't look like that at all. It was very grim.

Lianne turned up and the 4 of us went to the tearoom down the corridor. I had taken the Mother's Day Helium balloon from mum's bedside and a young woman with Downs Syndrome saw me with it. She asked if it was my birthday and I said, "It's my mum's balloon and she's just died." 

"Oh, I'm sorry," she replied.

We went home and flood gates opened and even I was shocked at the noise I made. Her death devastated me.

We spent this morning in Clanger and Picket woods. Some bluebells have made their appearance. Loads of wood anemones to enjoy.

Home for lunch then a trip out to get bags of compost and back here to do some gardening.

Louisa let me know Muppet has died and Clive spent a bit of time with Giuseppe.

After yesterday's funeral, Giuseppe and Sarah sat at Sarah's mum's bedside. It won't be long now.