Emot-I-Cone: In the style of a Wingpig...

I am sitting here thinking,
That I may be sinking,
But below me I feel solid ground,

T'was just the night gone,
Whilst directing traffic on,
When I heard a rowdy sound.

Some inebriated twats,
Came to the conclusion that,
They could use me as a hat.

We went for a few miles,
And my face lost it's smile,
These idiots were cramping my style.

They dragged me along,
Whilst screaming their songs,
My night would be more prolonged,

They bored of me quick,
Threw me like a stick,
And now I rest here in this pond.