Forget me not

Spent today quietly, walking, thinking. I can't go to my sister's funeral, they aren't having one as per her wishes. She was an undertaker in the US so her family is there, they said they're having a celebration of her life but that there was nothing formal planned so no reason for me to go over. That hurts. 
I'm thinking of what I might do here for my family and me. I need to do something...