Dough day

Normal Monday chores - washing ironing cleaning. Oh and managed to get an apt at the drs for a couple of moles that are not behaving themselves. A two hour wait and a referral to hospital for removal being the outcome.

I mentioned to the dr I was nervous re the impending holiday. I don't think my fleeting mention really portrayed the screaming desperate hysteria that's raging inside me.

Trying to keep myself busy... Holiday travel nerves are kicking in.

Not sleeping with worry is starting to ramp up a notch.

Em and the girls have flown out to meet stu in San Fran today. Eleven hour flight. Makes my 50 minutes in a tunnel seem quite pathetic.

Unfortunately that's what phobias are all consuming irrational patheticness - on the basis that phobias make you want to end it all (remember - irrational) as you can't stand the suspense of waiting for IT to happen I have decided to hang out and take my chances with the tunnel - as clearly I'm going to die anyway so I may as well wait til then as whatever way it ended it would be horrible so it may as well be in a tunnel - see rational irrational thinking!!! That's phobias for you. And who knows I may just survive and will only have to worry about the return journey.

Ooooo I'm such a nightmare but do make myself smile at how I try to trick myself out of worrying about something.

Mopping floors is always an exhausting distraction. As is making homemade pizzas.

Can't wait to hear em has landed safely.