Bee calm

I was wondering when I took this shot whether camomile makes bees calmer.

I've felt really low and inadequate today. I know that having social anxiety and energy problems affects my children. I've no idea what the long-term effects are but I know that the current and immediate problem is that Tess is 8 and should be/wants to be playing with other children more often. For some reason this has hit me like a sledgehammer today and I feel really guilty. It's a shame that playing with other kids means organising a playdate these days. When I was young we lived in a street full of kids and no one had to organise anything.

Richard finished work at 1pm, so in some kind of irrational self-punishment mindset I sent Richard, Tess and Gemma off to Exmoor Zoo this afternoon, while I stayed home and cleaned the kitchen and did some paperwork and paid some bills. By the time they returned I was feeling a bit more forgiving of myself. It's not as if I'm deliberately shit.