Selective Memory.

The Eels.

I feel like whenever I have a lot to write, it's when the photos aren't the best.

I'm listening to the Eels right now, and decided to pick a song title fitting to my thoughts, not the photo. I've just been spending most of my day thinking about the various people I had encounters with in high school and college, and how much I appreciate the random acts of kindness and quick little friendships I had (not to say that they all faded away badly, but they were just momentary). I also started thinking about all the times I'm hard on myself (especially lately) and trying to be happy for other people (especially my significant other) and myself. I need, need, need to stop being hard on myself (after all, negative thinking doesn't produce anything positive) AND the only thing that is making it hard is feeling I have to TRY to be happy, instead of the fact that I can just BE happy. It reminds me of reasons why I DON'T feel like it sometimes. I mean, it's not that hard to just BE happy, right?

I AM the happiest I have been in years. I have finally realized who my real friends are and who's worth my time; I just got a great job for the summer that pays well and my coworkers are all friendly people; I am able to spend my evenings watching movies or getting ice cream in the comfort of my own house; I go to a highly accredited private liberal arts University and am doing well there; I'm not afraid of my future and hold no worries because everything will work out; I'm in good health (and so is my family); I'm not broke or in debt; and to top it off, I'm with a guy who tries to be patient with me, who tries to listen, who puts up with me, who cares, who tries to be a great friend, who can cook (had to throw that in there!), who can make me laugh and completely forget everything else, who puts the biggest smile on my face, who helps me enjoy the small things in life, who probably knows me more than anyone else ever has, who is sexy and adorable as hell, who is someone that people enjoy being around and ask to hang out with often, who is just plain amazing, and so much more... and I love and appreciate him so much. I couldn't ask for anything better and I shouldn't take him for granted either. I'm really lucky now and there is no reason why anything should change (aside from the little things that WILL change sooner or later).

Also I have to realize that NOW is important, and not focus on all the people/events of the past that I'm not fond of (again, for myself and my other). I looked at past photographs today that I shouldn't have looked at. Also, with things that upset me -- I shouldn't react right away because it's usually a harsh reaction. Waiting a little bit, and reminding myself that it's not a big deal really helps me out and makes the situation go away faster for me. I don't mean to dump all this here on blip, but it's my only outlet for writing these days.... plus writing it out reminds myself of what I should and shouldn't do.

This photo is the rooftop of my house. Here is another rooftop photo (you can see The Death Cab in it)... and the sky tonight (I could see the moon very clearly when standing outside but it's hardly visble in the photo).