Hang 'em high

Down in the Deep South. I used to think that Midsomer Murders was unrealistic. But it really is like that. I expect there was a chain of gruesome killings involving agricultural tools after Bramley beat Shamley Green to the best-kept village title. I'm sure there were deadly repercussions in 2007 when Bramley were only runners-up. We doffed our collective caps to the mad axemen out for a stroll up to the spinster's cottage for a bit of bloodshed and gave a cheery 'good evening' to the mentalist vicar carrying a scimitar under his coat as we headed out into the disappearing twilight. It was very, very dark as we picked paths through trees, trying not to think that at any moment The Surrey Puma could come at us from the black. Then I walked into a log. But the mood was lightened by the traditional Irish/ceilidh kinda fanfare blaring from a nearby wedding marquee. So we danced a merry jig, and made it back safely. Only to find the mutiliated body...