I hate my hiatus

Forced into taking a blipbreak due to having a computer that no longer, well works. Actually - it does work. You spend 3 hours charging it up and it stays on for 3 minutes before going 'byebye' and then (nicked this from Little Britain) "all was dark in the land of sprites".

We are getting a new computer this week (hooray) so I will be back to full Blipping capacity soon (hooray-er) but for today, I have hijacked Bry's work laptop (naughty) because I JUST HAD TO BLIP.

God. I've been itchy with the lack of blipping.

I have started cycling to work, which is in equal parts great, rubbish, wet, cold, fun and a little bit scary. I appear to have lost the knack of daredevilism (tis a word. Tis) since having Arlo. Previously, I would bomb down hills willy nilly with wild abandon, legs splayed from east to west and back again, mad grin on face, brakes squeaking for dear life.

Now I am not like that. Now I am a bit worried and fearful and think horrid thoughts as I squeak and tip toe (quite hard on a bike) down the Bell's Brae cobbles in the rain.

For those not in the know
Bell's Brae is a ridiculously, nae monstrously steep brae that is painful, no desperate, to walk up - never mind cycle up. On the way up, it's breathtaking (i.e you cannae breathe), on the way down - aaarrrrgghghghghghghg.

Little did I know that Bell's Brae is actually my friend, and not a cobbled street trying to catapult me from Mable into the great unknown in a look not far from the style of Eddie the Eagle.

Queensferry Street,however? From now on shall be known as Evil Street. Tonight, as I stood at the traffic lights waiting on the green light, one foot on the pavement, one foot on my right pedal I thought to myself (and I really did think this) "I like it when you get to the side of the pavement like this so you can stand with your foot on the pavement, it's much comfier". Then I shifted my left foot slightly to gain more of a purchase on my right pedal and

CRUMPLE. I literally crumpled to the ground. There were 3 taxis behind me. I am sure I heard every single one of the drivers roar with laughter. WTF?! I was there one minute, next I was rolling around on the pavement with my bike wrapped around me like some kind of weirdo cycling porn movie.

I couldn't get my leg free of the freaking pedal to get up so a man (a man!) had to come and help me (at least someone did) and asked 'are you alright there?' and I swear to god, I just couldn't look him in the eye - I just went in my poshest voice 'oh yes, I have no idea what happened there' and he (politely) said 'oh don't worry I've done that a few times myself'. Off he popped in a jovial manner and I resumed my stance of one foot on the pavement and one on the pedal and STILL the bloody lights wouldn't bloody change and STILL I swear I could hear the bloody laughter.

And as soon as I got moving...I had to squeak and tip toe down Bell's Brae whilst all the time feeling like a complete and utter pleb.

Sheesh.