A Family Project

A large package (70 lbs.) arrived on our doorstep this afternoon and I convinced OilMan that we were still capable of hanging it ourselves.

--there's a template for where to put the screws....
--is it straight?
--up a little on the right...no. too far, down a tad...
--well then measure it yourself...
****
--no, it should be closer to the door so the lamp isn't in front of it.
--what happened to the tape measure?
--what?
--IT'S IN YOUR HAND!
--the screws won't hold...I need wallboard mounts.
--what are those?
--never mind--I'll get them myself....
****
--ok, all we have to do is lift it above the screw and slide it down into place...
--my side's done, what about yours?
--lift it higher...still higher...LIFT IT UP!! THIS IS HEAVY!!
--B****s! the screws are too close together....
--I'll put them an inch higher to hide the holes and a quarter inch farther apart.
--where's my pencil?
--try again, wait, I can't find the level..
--ok-- lift it up again.
--s***!!
--b***s!
****
--There. It's perfect.
--wait, isn't Australia supposed to be at the bottom?