One Year On...

This is me with the picture taken one year ago today, when I was just an hour old. I look a bit different now. That's not the only change - Dad spent ages trying to get this shot because I wouldn't sit still and kept trying to grab the camera. Wait until next year, when I'm running away from him!

Dad wrote an hour-by-hour blog on my birthday. Here it is:

Sunday 3rd August 2008

1:10am
I was wakened from a deep sleep by my mobile ringing at my bedside. Anne told me they were taking her through to the labour ward. Contractions had started at about 10pm and then her waters had broken. She said there was no need for me to rush so I got a shower and something to eat and made sure I was fully awake before driving over to the hospital. At this time of night it only took 16 minutes.

2:00am
I arrived at the hospital and rang the bell as the door was locked. A midwife let me in and showed me to Anne's room. She was sat on a Swiss ball hooked up to a fetal heart monitor (FHM) and an electronic sphygmomanometer to take her blood pressure at regular intervals. The midwife with her was quite young but very reassuring. Anne's high blood pressure means her birth plan is pretty much out the window. The fetal heart monitor kept picking up Anne's heart beat instead of the baby's as the baby is moving about with Anne bouncing on the ball. So she had to get on the bed, which she had orignally wanted to avoid.

3:00am
The last hour has gone by very quickly. Anne is trying to get some sleep. The only sign of the contractions is on the FHM which has a second readout to pick them up. The midwife has asked Anne a couple of times if she is having one and she calmly answered yes. She is also on a drip for administering the second stage of induction drugs. They tried to get the drip in her right hand first and had some trouble so did it on the left. It left a bit of a bruise on her right hand and the shpyg constrictor is on her right arm. The sphyg automatically squeezes her arm every 15 minutes to take her blood pressure and she said that the bruise is making this more painful than a contraction. The midwife thinks the baby might be born perhaps around noon.

5:00am
The contractions have become more frequent but we are still at least a few hours away. They are also more sore but Anne is coping without any pain relief so far. There are the first signs of daylight outside but it is quite overcast. Arriving in this labour room in the middle of the night with only a single dim lamp lighting the room made it seem slightly not real. Like a dream perhaps. The lack of sleep probably adds to that feeling. Whatever happens, Anne is going to be kept in overnight tonight so we will both have an opportunity to get some sleep before the baby comes home. Anne was given a tablet to reduce her blood pressure and it did the job so they aren't too concerned about it now. The measurements will be taken less frequently. The baby has been sleeping throughout the night as can be seen on the FHM. Let's hope it sleeps well once it's out!

6:00am
The contractions are much stronger now and Anne has started to use the gas and air She has turned round on the bed and is on her knees. She hasn't vocalised her pain at all and is doing very well. Baby is still asleep.

8:00am
Anne is really suffering now. The contractions are intense and she is close to needing the next stage of pain relief. The problem is they were planning to check to see how dilated she is at 9:00am and the results of this would determine the best choice between diamorphine and an epidural. Anne is also very tired and said she was almost dropping off between contractions resulting in being late to get the gas and air going for the next contraction. I'm also feeling very tired.

08:30
She is only 3cm dilated so there is plenty of time left for an epidural to be useful. She certainly needs something and says that the sleep deprivation is almost as bad as the pain.

9:45
The epidural has been successfully administered and Anne is now fast asleep. The sleep deprivation was really making it hard for her. She didn't get any sleep at all last night and only 4 hours the night before.

12:00
I managed to get some sleep aswell. About an hour and a half. The next check for dilation stage will be at 12:30. Anne says she feels a lot better after a sleep (and the epidural).

2:00
The measurement at 12:30 was 8cm dilated so the midwife estimates the baby would arrive by 5pm at the latest. I popped out to buy a sandwich and two Sunday Timeses - one for Anne to read later and one to go into the archive so baby knows what happened on 3 Aug 2008. We have a new midwife for the delivery, the same one that gave us a tour of the labour ward a few weeks ago. She seems very experienced and is very reassuring. The next blog post will be after the birth.

Pushing
Anne started pushing at 4:45 after the doctor had come in to check the baby's position. She had to wait for a contraction to build, take a deep breath, then push hard for about twenty seconds. Then do that again twice before relaxing. I had to hold her right leg up and keep my hand behing her neck to keep her head forward. The widwife held her other leg and gave instructions and encouragement. I was also giving encouragement, trying to time mine to when Anne needed it the most towards the end of the second bout and during the third when Anne was tiring. After each bout of pushing I mopped Anne's brow with a cold wet cloth. It did seem a bit like a boxing match, with each pushing bout like a round. We did this every 3-5 minutes for an hour. Anne said that she couldn't feel the pushing because of the epidural. A massive effort was required for each bout of pushing. She seemed incredibly focused and amazingly there was no swearing, shouting or moaning. Just a deep breath then into it. And that's having had about 4 hours sleep combined for the last three days and having had virtually no food for 24 hours!

Eventually we got to the hour mark. This was when the doctor was scheduled to come in and check progess. He said that the baby was still in the same position as an hour ago! This meant that intervention would almost certainly be required. He also said he wasn't completely sure of how the baby was lying. Therefore he was going to take Anne into the theatre because if forceps didn't work he would need to do a cesaerian section quite quickly. At that point it seemed that it was likely to be a c-section and that they wouldn't try long with the forceps. However, there was still time left to keep on pushing and the midwife was saying that it might still come.

After a bit more pushing, the midwife went to get something to eat whilst another, younger midwife took over. This one suggested trying lying on one side, and a change in position might help. We did this and Anne said she could feel something different happening. She could feel downward pressure. Anne was not giving up! She told me she could push this baby out. A cesaerian would mean she would have to stay in hospital longer, not be able drive for weeks and any future birth would likely have to also be cesaerian. She seemed to start pushing even harder than she had before.

In the end, there was another whole hour of pushing before they took her to the theatre. After the bed was rolled out of the labour room, I put on the George Clooney outfit as the midwife called it and waited to be called in. It was not long before I was lead into the theatre.

We had been told in the labour ward that because the baby was lying transverse they would need to attempt a forceps delivery. If, however, that did not work quickly they would need to abort and perform an emergency cesaerian. Therefore they needed Anne in the operating theatre in case the c-section, which is major surgery, was required. Anne was taken in first and I was allowed in a few minutes later once I had put on the surgical clothes they provided.

The Delivery
The theatre was quite a large room and seemed to be full of people. Everyone was wearing blue or green surgical clothes and several had masks covering nose and mouth. Anne's bed had been rolled into the theatre from the labour ward and was pointed so that her head was nearest the door I came in from. I was given a stool to sit beside Anne, on the right hand side of the bed. Schona, the midwife who had directed the pushing was on the other side, talking Anne through what was happening. I couldn't hold Anne's hand because the drip was connected to her right hand, so I just mopped her brow with the cold cloth and stroked her forehead and hair.

Above the bed were two sets of surgical spotlights, each set consisting of four round lights in a diamond formation. Not being able to see peoples' faces because of the surgical masks was a little disturbing. I had a strong sense that I wasn't actually there, like I was looking in from the outside. It was as if I was watching it on TV.

The consultant who was going to deliver the baby was an Indian man and he wasn't very fluent in English. Once he had examined the situation I thought I heard him say "I guarantee that I cannot get the baby out with forceps from that position". That meant that they would be going straight to cesarian section. However, when he was still perparing the forceps a few seconds later I realsied he had actually said "I guarantee that I CAN get the baby out with forceps from that position". (After the event he said it was one of the most straightforward forceps deiveries he had ever done, so Anne's efforts to push for the second hour paid off).

Once the forceps were in place the consultant requested a big push once the next contraction started. We were well drilled in what to do having had two hours of pushing up to this point. Anne took a deep breath pushed with everything she had and I held her head forward with my hand at the back of her neck. I had been counting up to twenty for Anne but the first push was cut short at about 12 when the consultant said stop. The next push was also cut short and as I was mopping Anne's brow I was caught off guard when I realsied the baby was already out.

The baby's head was covered in blood and the back of it looked like it had been stretched a little out of shape during birth. My first thought was that it looked a bit like E.T. or some other alien life form that had just arrived on earth. I heard the midwife say "and it's a..." as its other end was being turned toward me. At first I couldn't see anything between its legs but quickly realised what this meant so I completed the sentence "a girl" and she was whisked off to the corner of the room to be cleaned up and checked out by the pediatrician. (The time recorded for the birth was 7:21pm).

Meanwhile Anne still had to push out the placenta. This seemed to be more difficult that getting the baby out and the consultant said it had separated so would need two deliveries. So it was back to the pushing routine for a little bit longer.

It didn't seem long before the pediatrician came over and said she was a healthy baby and shortly after that she was brought round to me, wrapped in a towel. Anne was laid out horizontal and didn't have her glasses on so I had to bring the baby up close and tilt her semi upright for Anne to see her newborn daughter. It was an incredible moment to finally see this little human being that we had produced. We had already decided that if we had a girl we would call her Orla.

Once all the placenta had been delivered, I was taken to a corner of the room with Orla to be out of the way whilst Anne was stitched up. For about ten minutes it was just me and Orla. I felt a strong sense of almost spiritual emotion, similar to a feeling I had on my wedding day in the chapel. I hadn't expected to be able to have this experience as a baby would normally be with her mother straight after birth, but it was so valuable. I could almost feel the bonding sensation.

When ready, Anne's bed was wheeled back to the labour ward with me following behind carrying Orla. The midwife helped Anne sit up with some pillows and I handed Orla to her then went and got my camera. I took as many photos and videos clips as I possibly could and in the back of my mind I imagined showing them to Orla when she was old enough to appreciate them.

I got a photo of Orla being weighed. The scales said 7lbs9 on the photo but the midwife reset the scales to check and it said 7lbs8. So that was her recorded birth weight.

Anne was brought some toast to eat which was pretty much her first food in 24 hours. I took Orla while she ate it.

After a couple of hours back in the labour ward it was about 10pm and I started to think about heading home. I had been up since 1am and the adrenaline was starting to wear off. I had to drive back on the motorway so needed to be alert. Although I was allowed to stay until midnight, the sensible thing was to head back before I got too tired so I said goodbye to Anne and Orla and went home to bed. I certainly had vivid dreams !