Cat tongue seat.

I imagine it's pretty painful someone sitting on your tongue.

I remember a boy at college putting a bulldog clip on his tongue
to impress my beautiful best friend.
He was a New Romantic, and wore his make up with pride.
We watched impassively as his eyes filled with tears and pain.
His tongue instinctively tried to retract, but was held taut
by the huge bulldog clip.
In the end, (probably only about a minute) the tip of his tongue
was bulbous with blood.
And he was openly weeping, there were tears running down
his now red face. His fringe was sticking to his mascara.

My friend was not impressed, but I still think it was one
of the most (new) romantic things I've ever witnessed.