Up-cycling!! from Frogs to Chameleons

Last month I tried kissing a frog and this was the result:

"Darling, now this may seem strange, but I've met someone who I think you'll get on with really well. Give me a call." Was the message on my phone.

I called her back instantly.

"Hi, well, he's lovely, very chatty, funny. I've spoken to him and told him how gorgeous you are and he's looking forward to meeting you, so give him a call!"

She went on to tell me a bit more and he sounded - (almost) perfect. Although the caveat of looking beyond the eyes was mentioned.

I called him, he chatted - a lot - After 30 minutes, I said, lets get a date in the diary, and because he was a friend of a (very good) friend we arranged to go out for a meal (rather than a coffee or drink - my usual format for a first meeting.)

I suggested my favourite curry house as he was happy to drive in my direction. On arrival I discovered it had closed down!! Not a good start, so I phoned him and we arranged to meet in the car park and walk to another venue.

As he got out of his car, my heart sank, I gave myself a severe talking to.
"Short is fine, wide is acceptable, the eyes? Don't be so silly, you can cope."

I pulled myself together and gave my best smile as I lent down to kiss him on the cheek.
"Hi, good to meet you, let's find somewhere to eat"
By the time we reached the high street he was severely out of breath, so I suggested the first place we came to!

We sat down, ordered and then he looked me straight in the eye - with his left - or was it his right? and said.
"Bingo! Result!"
I flinched.
We ate, he talked, a lot.
Each time he paused to take a mouthful, I tried to start a new topic, but his brother, or sister, or mother, or mate had done it with knobs on.

I was getting more annoyed and consequently more outrageous with the things I said I'd done and places I'd been. Not once did he offer a follow up comment or question.

When we'd finished eating, he asked.
"How do you think we're getting on?"
"You don't seem very interested in me"
"That's alright I know enough."

We walked back to our cars, he turned to me and looked me up and down with his right - or was it his left eye?

"I can't believe you're on your own"

To me - that is a like a red rag to a bull!

I'm sorry, I have to go, goodbye.

As I drove off, wheels kicking up gravel, I saw him in the rear view mirror, arms open and a questioning look on his face.....

I spent the next three days questioning my own judgement - and that of my lovely friend. How could she even think........


This month, in desperation, I've up-cycled to kissing a Chameleon!!

Although, looking at those eyes.......