rust

a pouring, drenching, flooding rain. much needed, expected. the same that moored thousands of middle class tourists in acapulco.

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i am wading ankle deep through a downtown parking lot, hopelessly holding a bag with my shoes, and umbrella, my cactus tote. the rain is cold and cleansing. i could drop over $1000 of electronics into it, right now, right here. and i think about it, but reality has a strong pull and lately overwhelms my irrational behavior.

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this rain will bring the fall and what passes for cool here. suddenly the mornings will be right for running, no heaving under humid lungs, but instead covered in a crisp, dry veil. this is my favorite time of year. it's a time for new beginnings, reinvigorations. lately what keeps me going is the knowledge that this time next year, i will be 4 months free.

i am trying to get back to me, to laughing more. that sounds pathetic. death is the great equalizer.