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I don't care how nicely you arrange my toys. I don't care that you have brought me home a chunk of your discarded and frozen fillet steak. I don't care that you love me madly. You have been missing for more than two weeks and I have had to keep the wolves Sox from the door. Huh, you think it is a pussycat's life? Think again!

I am going to honk on your carpet tonight big time. Pah!