Communication

An early start ; birthday present buying and browsing. Then along to my session.

To date it was the best session yet, R said she felt it was a very honest session. I agree.
The only emotion I felt was anger throughout but it felt good to say stuff I haven't vocalised before.
The two statements that R said have stuck in my mind; 'I have lost the way in life' and 'when did you last laugh and have fun? Hmmmm.

To release the anger and agitation I stomped walked home . As I passed the pubs/restaurants seeing couples/friends /groups drinking and chatting I wished it was me.

I am now left in self destruction mode; my heart is racing, chest pains, have loads of energy and am restless, I now recognise this as a pre cursor to cutting myself.

I am in the mood to get drunk even though I am not allowed, so the curtains are getting shut and I'm away to find the bottle.