GHOSTIES and GOOLIES? Keep 'em! The sun is dying.

Yet another great thing about being in Ayr, tonight of all nights is that I don't have to skulk at the back of the house with the telly on a very low volume so I can pretend I am out on my broomstick to avoid answering the constantly ringing doorbell.

'Trick or treat?' they say. If you've ever said 'Trick please!' to the cheeky sod on your doorstep who is clearly about 19 with stubble and a purple can of Tennents Super he keeps swigging at when he pulls it out of his pocket, he'd look at you blankly and stick his hand out for money. Give him a Sherbet Fountain and by the look on his face you'd think he'd been handed a dog turd! Sweets and fruit to modern kids in this age of iPhones are about as welcome as a fart in an astronaut suit.

The following year, I'd ignored the doorbell the first few times until I could sense that one persistent caller was not going to lose interest when I heard the letterbox being rattled and I lost it completely when he started knocking on the front windows and yelled 'HELLOOO! I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE!' I ran out into the hall, pulled the door open shouting 'Right! You git!......@@@@@&&&£!!!&****%!!!!!.........etc...etc.... until my angry tirade died mid curse as I noticed the two little kiddies dressed as witches aged about five or six behind the six foot grinning loon in front of me. Oh the shame! Those poor children were hoping to give me a cheery Halloween fright and instead I expect they are still having nightmares ten years later about the mad witch who gave them their earliest lesson in foul language. I still blush now thinking about it.....

So no! I am not fond of Halloween! You can keep your ghosties, clanking chains and you can keep your goolies too. When the rain and gales had lessened a bit, I went to watch the sun sinking into the sea as another day died in a watery misty grave, tragically beautiful like so many things in life these days.

Track? To get into the spirit of things (slightly), let's have some Alice for this evening - Go to Hell