Perspective

Dear takeaway at the side of our office,

Its great to see your business is obviously thriving, serving artery blocking fayre to late night revellers.

However, may I humbly suggest your image could be improved by paying an employee an extra hour at the end of a shift to clean the fucking street. That would after all only cost the same as a 'kebab & chips in a tray' special.

Yours insincerely
Smithski

Ps when you got your 5 food hygiene rating shown in the window I presume the ambidextrous 'chef' was off who I regularly see out the back, smoking with one hand and enjoying a full contact ball scratch with the other?