The Road Less Traveled

I'm a coward by nature. When I was a little girl, and something frightened me, I'd grab my nearest sister (Sorry Deb) and push her in front of me to protect me. A slightly ashamed feeling would wash over me and I would consider protecting her instead of hiding behind her, then I'd hold on tighter with my face buried in her back.

In keeping with my chicken nature, I hoped never to own a house. I noticed that people who own houses work hard to take care of them, and have to figure out really difficult things, like fixing leaks and figuring out what to do when the lights go out and flipping the breaker doesn't fix them.

This is my beloved. He's very brave. Just before we got married, the top floor of his house burned off. It took us four years to rebuild and figure out how to make something out of it, but he never said never, he only said, "I don't know", then he'd wait for revelation and try whatever seemed like the next step....and it almost always worked. When it didn't work, he tried again and got it right. The next thing I knew, we owned a vacation rental, and he gave it my name. I was still a chicken.

Today, he amazes me all the more. His mother left him a house (oh goody, another house with more scarey responsibilities) and it was full of 92 years worth of accumulation and needed a lot of work. Soon, I'll show you the inside...it's wonderful. But for now, I give you the back yard. The caulking is done and the paint will go on next. He doesn't look afraid, does he. Well, even though it seemed impossible, he knows it will all work out, and he keeps putting one foot in front of the other, and not once has he raised his voice to me during this intense task of making this house someone's home. He has done nothing but make me feel like an important part of his life. Every day, I am less afraid.

Today I picked up flower pots and cottage cheese containers and decomposing plastic bags from the back yard. Those who've seen how many flower pots we had already picked up, know it's pretty amazing that there were still a bunch more. These came from the green house.

I'm no longer afraid to own a house, but now I run screaming when I see flower pots.

Crazy.