Only when I Laugh

As soon as I finished last night’s blip we all headed off to the Curry house to meet Julia and Pete and Sarah and Darren, with all the children.

A fine evening was had, lots of curry and a few pints of Beer followed by some complimentary Brandy.When we left H and the children got a lift with Sarah and Darren (they live near us) which left me to walk home.

With Alfies Scooter!

I contemplated carrying it for 0.000001 of a second and then jumped on and shot off down the road.

It is downhill all the way.

Faster and faster I went, hurtling through the night, hair blowing in the wind, faster and faster. At this rate I would beat the car.
At this rate I could beat any car.
Even my car.
At this rate I COULD ALTER TIME!

Zoom past the Waggon and Horses like a streak of light, on to the Coop which was just a blur.

Traffic calming, 20mph signs... pah I was at one with my machine. 6ft 13 and a half stone bloke and childs scooter in perfect harmony, like the chap in Warhorse and his... errr horse.

The turning for Church Lane came into view, I WAS GOING TO BEAT THE CAR. I AM A SCOOTING GOD.

Just one more junction, with a kerb.. Across we zoomed; I would do a quick wheelie up the kerb and then victory.

'I would do a quick wheelie'?? What was I thinking, '13 and a half stone, 3 inches back from the wheel' Were the last thoughts that went through my mind as the front wheel connected with the kerb and sent me flying through the air.

I suspect it was very elegant, there must have been three or four somersaults and at least one backflip, I think the technical term is 'Arse over Tit'.

I managed very skillfully to break my fall by using my face. Thankfully Cobra Lager and cheap Brandy have near magical pain numbing properties.

Luckily it was dark and quiet so there was no one to see me make a total and complete spectacle of myself. Well no one apart from H, Sarah, Darren and all of the children who had just pulled up at the top of Church lane;)

I checked my teeth (phew) and then picked myself up and wandered over to everyone for Poppy to burst into tears (it seems there was quite a lot of blood).

Anyway once I had cleaned myself up the damage was not that bad and on closer inspection this morning I seem to have got away with a grazed knee, sore ribs, a worryingly bruised nose (like my nose needs any more damage!) and a very split lip which re-splits every time I laugh (hence the title, thanks H).

Fear not though blippals that picture has been photoshopped to enhance my injuries, I don’t really look anything like as bad as that, well anything like as injured as that;)

Dare to look large ;)