I've never...

... Seen a horse die before.

Until Yesterday.

Rang the vet, farrier, and digger.
"Only one horse is being put down. The other, we'll see what we can do."

Dose of Sedative. Droopy, almost cute.

Death?

"He will drop to the ground. It might be a bit of a shock for you. But at that point, he knows nothing."

First tube of anaesthetic.

Nothing.

Second tube of anaesthetic.

Nothing.
Then, he dropped.

Numbness...
Death?

"He can't feel anything right now. His eyes will stay open, the closed eyes are just a movie thing, I'm afraid."

Third tube of anaesthetic.
Stethoscope.
Shudders of brain fighting a drug that is destined to kill.

"Yep, he's dead."

Leo takes three steps forward.
His best friend just died.

Digger.
Chains.
Upside down horse.
Dirt.

Nothing.
Nothing.
Nothing.

"It's all over baby."

Tears. 20 seconds.
Suck it up.
You just saw a horse die.

"My chains are gone, I've been set free, my God my Saviour... Has ransomed me..." ... Was all I could sing softly to Leo...


I feel like such a bad person keeping Leo alive... He's so miserable looking out into the paddock towards Cyril's grave...

I don't know what to do.

Sometimes it hurts...
just a little bit...
Other times it hurts...
a heck of a lot...