Shamikkanum

I always used to meet Sona, my 10 year old Mallayalam teacher on the beach wall at 5 every evening and although we have been writing to each other she did not know exactly what date we were coming back. I have dreamt about this reunion. I went to the wall at 5 thinking she would be back from school and her grandmother Marya saw me and excitedly beckoned me to come down the path to their house. I had never been in before. Sona's father was sitting cross legged on the floor watching TV. It seems that no matter how basic the home there is a TV. They have no phones, no cooker, a corrugated roof, a concrete floor, plastic sheets as walls in some parts yet a TV. Her mother showed me all the cards and letters I had sent all carefully bundled together in their envelopes. Sona was late I discovered because she has to walk to and from school now as they can't afford the bus fare INR 150 (about £1.50) for a term? The internal conflict with what I earn and what I have is huge. I brought them a big box of Quality Street and English and Maths books and a bracelet for Sona.

We are not in the house alongside them this year - the owner a man in Dubai wanted too much more money - the house we are in is 10 mins away. I had walked to theirs with my umbrella in true Indian style to protect from the sun but it gets dark quickly at 6 and I wanted to get back before sunset and Sona and her grandmother insisted on walking back with me. I showed them around the house - there was just curiosity. I dreamt about her again last night - I had taken her on a journey away from her home and it had taken longer than we planned and she was fearful her father would be angry. She kept apologising. She had taught me the word for 'sorry' earlier in the day - shamikkanum.

Shamikkanum; Malayalam for Sorry