Clemeny

Though bobbing for apples has, like many other old English autumnal customs, become gradually aligned with the twin festivals of Halloween and Bonfire Night, traditionally it was most commonly associated with 23rd November - St Clement's Day. Being the patron saint of smiths and metalworkers, St Clement was naturally a popular bugger in the Black Country, and the evening - colloquially known as Clemeny or Bite Apple Night - was rowdily observed on an annual basis with children and paupers going from door to door begging food, beer, cider or even wine at more well-to-do houses.

The entertaining Clemeny rhyme sung by children in the streets went:

Oh Clemeny, Clemeny, Clemeny mine
A good red apple and a pint of wine
Some of your mutton and some of your veal
If it is good, pray, give me a deal
If it is not, pray, give me some salt
Butler, butler, fill your bowl
If your fill is of the best
The Lord will send your soul to rest
If you fill is of the small
Down goes the butler, bowl and all
Pray, good mistress, send to me
One for Peter, one for Paul
One for him who made us all
Apple or pear, plum or cherry
Any good thing to make us merry
A bouncing buck and a velvet chair
Oh Clemen comes but once a year
Up with the tub and on with the ton
A good red apple and I'll be gone

Things to conclude from this ditty:

1) Modern day trick-or-treating and underage drinking pales in comparison to kids staggering from house to house necking pints of wine and threatening to deck the butler if his veal doesn't match their high standards. (To be honest, I'm amazed anyone round here even knew what a butler was, let alone have one in the house to dole out cold meat and occasionally get filled in by 19th century chavlings).

2) Some of the requests of Clemeny revellers come across ever so slightly like the demands of hostage-takers who know they're not going to escape and are planning to plead insanity when arrested. "A bouncing buck and a velvet chair"? Your most pressing needs whilst wandering the streets on a cold and probably rainy November night are luxury furniture and some kind of rubber deer?

Well, I suppose without any road cones in those days, they just had to make do.