Escape ...

.... from MAU-lcatraz

In a true show of patient group spirit, the “inmates” on my ward (whose average age was twice mine) contributed their "pee-jams" and suspect hospital gowns for my escape plan. Needless to say there were perplexed looks from the nursing militia when they stormed in this morning looking for victims to de-robe, scrub and debride. All they found were five bare “neked” gentlemen, apparently asleep, and a rope of knotted hospital attire tied to the radiator and hanging out the ground floor window.

After being collected semi-conscious off the ground just below the window by two burly hospital security persons, I was frogmarched to within inches of the ward matron who issued me with a discharge letter and a smacked bottom (new NHS treatment apparently?!!?).

I was then thrown out the same window I had carefully lowered myself out of hours earlier …..

…. it could’ve happened like that ….

… anyway I have escaped, but not without my HAI and a handy BHF Pacemaker brochure.