Sticky fingers....

Having spent many years in retail, I think I'm pretty good at spotting shoplifters.

Some are quite subtle, and almost escape my scrutiny, but others (usually the ones who are on drink/drugs/both) are so obvious, that they may as well have 'I'm a shoplifter ' tattooed on their heads.
In green ink.
With scarlet highlights.

A ridiculous pair came staggering into the shop this afternoon and headed straight for the perfumes. They've been in many times before, and usually I just follow them around scowling, until they get bored and leave.
But today, I was incredibly busy and didn't have time for the usual charade. So I said they'd have to go immediately, as we were expecting the police at any moment, due to An Incident.....

'Shoplifters?' slurred one of them.

'Yes indeed,' I replied, 'You wouldn't believe the cheek of some people.'

The bloke tutted at me sympathetically.

'We wouldnae lift from you Missis,' he said, shaking his head sadly,'Yer shop's full o' shite.'

That's what I love - customer feedback.....