In Loving Memory...............

........... of Apache’s owner Clive.

On Thursday night I found out that Clive died in a freak accident in 2009 in Moz and that in July this year his wife was murdered in SA leaving their two children orphans at the young age of 5 and 6.

Clive and I met in early 1999 at the pub where I had a second job; he was lodging at the house of Sally (who is now one of my closest friends) who at the time was dating one of Clive’s friends. Clive and I eventually developed a brother / sister relationship occasionally fighting but always unconditionally making up a few days later. Sally has said that when he was in the UK he was my best friend and that of all the people he knew here in the UK I understood him the most. He was totally like a second brother to me.

He had a key to my house which he freely used and sometimes the only evidence of him having being there if I had been away was dishes in the dishwasher (I had a drawer in the freezer full of home cooked meals for him).

We’d spend heaps of time together (much to the annoyance of any respective partners) and we loved chilling with a takeaway or tub of chocs having DVD nights watching back to back movies well into the early hours. Lol he even had his own bedroom in my house.

He returned to SA to work with his father who has a business in Moz in early 2004, leaving Apache with me for what I thought was gonna be around 6 months. But life throws the unexpected at people, he later split with the girlfriend he left in the UK. He then met and fell in love with his future wife.

When he first returned to Africa he’d phone complaining that it was too hot, the insects were biting, malaria which almost killed him but he’d always finish off by saying his stock phrase “still must’nt grumble”

My two nephews adored him and the youngest still refers to him as Uncle Clive – he used to have Christmas lunch with us because his own family were across the ocean.

For the first two or three years we’d speak regularly as well as on email, but he wasn’t really a teckie on a PC 24/7 and preferred speaking. He loved talking to Apache who 100% reacted to hearing his voice. But as time went on and life took over – especially for him as he took over his father’s reins (I think or he set up his own company I can’t remember the details exactly either way he worked hard and long hours), he married and had children there just wasn’t enough time so contact became more sporadic. But when there was contact it was like only hours had passed since the previous time.

My last email from him was around a year or so before he died, but obviously since I have only found out the tragic news it feels like forever. Often I have been asked if I’d spoken to him and I always replied “naw you know what men are like but he’ll be in contact one day”. Yes I could have emailed him but I wouldn’t have received a reply because I’d left it too late – all I will say is hindsight is a wonderful thing!!

However, I regret my actions, therefore I implore everyone to pick up the phone or get those fingers typing and make contact again with friends or family who are becoming strangers through lack of communication before you are like me and leave it until it’s too late.

He was a typical SA guy passionate about his rugby both the national team and the Natal Sharks. He was the best all round diesel fuel injection apprentice in SA in 1994. He loved eating the spicier the better, it has to be said although he wasn’t the best cook he made amazing pancakes (his grandmother’s secret recipe) and putu (maize meal). In fact he was just generally passionate about living another hobby was downhill racing and OMG his mountain bikes were worth serious money.

Clive was one of the most kind-hearted people I’ve ever met and he loved Apache to the core and called him “Boy” rather than by his proper name – which in a SA accent sounded adorable. He was also the best spider remover ever and would gently pick them up allowing them to run over his arms before putting them outside saying that even massive UK ones were tiny.

In tonight’s ES magazine there was a very apt quote in the Suzannah Lipscomb article “Whenever you lose someone you continue to carry that person with you: they become part of you”

RIP my handsome kind hearted friend, I will never forget you.

All I can hope is you and Michelle have found each other in heaven and are both looking down guiding your two beautiful children.

17.03.1971 – 19.01.2009