Barking Mad . . .

We were looking round the bookshop this afternoon when we heard a dog barking. "Must be a toy in the kids' section," said Jools. We ignored it. Then the yapping began again, closer. We looked around. Then we saw the little bugger, wrapped under a blanket in a push chair. "Nice baby," said Jools to its owner. "Is it well behaved?"

Before she got a response, the little swine snarled, leaped out of its carriage, bit the ankle of a passing shopper, then jumped onto a pile of books and shat all over Stephen King's latest offering. Last we saw it was heading to the door with owner and staff in hot pursuit.

"Bad manners, but good taste," said Jools as we moved away from the carnage.

PS Certain parts of the above are more wishful thinking than fact. Unfortunately . . .