Dark and Dismal

Another day.

Psychologist apt this morning; horrible. She is such an abrupt woman who told me that 'I needed to get better, get back to work so I don't lose my job'. She told me I should be feeling better by now, but I'm not and she couldn't accept that.
She told me she pulled me from the back of the list and that I should still be on the waiting list. Don't quite know the reason she kept telling me that.

The therapy she recommends I'm not even getting put on the waiting list because it is too long and 'I need to get back to work'. So on the waiting list for another therapy which should start end of January 'but maybe you will be back at work and you can't come'.

All of that was thrown at me within 25mins and I got hardly a chance to say anything . No help what so ever.
I feel like shit.

Last night was awful ; I was on the phone a few times to Breathing Space as the panic attacks took over. I took a few too many beta blockers and sleeping tablets and ended up being sick.