I had some giftcards and money for Christmas, so had a rare trip to Bluewater. Once again, some cheeky scamp had replaced the normal mirrors with comedy mirrors, sending back a reflection of a short, stumpy woman instead of the 6ft, long-legged, stick-thin, model-like woman that I am! So, no new clothes and will continue to walk around in rags and carrier bags on my feet.

We went to Surrey Quays on the way home, where I headed straight to the pond to look at the local wildfowl and pretend to be in the countryside, where I'd rather have been!