The battery must be faulty

I knew the weight must be slightly up but surely these digits must be wrong which means either the battery is faulty or the scales arent sat on the tiles flat yes thats it isnt it - but hold on a cotton picking minute! my leather belt must have shrunk the last time I went out in the rain as its gone from the smallest waist holes to the next to the last and my jeans must have shrunk in the wash because they're tighter and the light must be bad in the en-suite because I have to bend foward slightly to read the scale values now - thats it isnt it because with being a man every time we catch ourselves in the mirror all we see is the reflection of a stud muffin haha not a santa look alike which means I need to start eating for one and not a family and get back down the gym OK maybe not today but soon - no I will honest ;-)