Leaves.

Everyone does, eventually.

The feeling of missing her, has changed to a dull pain, an ache in my chest where she used to be.

This is a photo from the frosty morning, attempting depth of field in a background vs foreground fashion.

I got given a mouse onesie unexpectedly from my parents. They have become such a huge reliance of mine. i spend most of my time at home now because the outside world seems quite daunting. I only tend to go to town for short spells and I haven't spent a night away from home in quite some time bar being out all night when I go on nights out in Newcastle and have to wait for the first bus at 7am the following morning.

I feel quite alone. I have had Bex over quite alot, which has been lovely, lots of xbox playing, and chatter, and games of Uno and 'Who Am I' which is a hilariously fun game where you stick a card with someone's name on your forehead and have to ask yes and no response questions until you figure out which celeb, public figure, etcetera's name, that you have stuck to your forehead. Quite a laugh.

I haven't been sober much, and i've put on weight over Christmas, so it's back to coffee and cigarettes when I go back to college.

Finishing my personal statement tonight and handing it in on monday significantly later than i'd wanted.

I had a dream so big and loud I jumped so high I touched the clouds, I stretched my hands out to the sky we danced with monsters through the night. I howled at the moon with friends, and then the sun came crashing in, I'm never gonna look back, i'm never gonna give it up, no.