Old Faithful

It comes as far more of a shock than it really should to many friends of mine when I inform them that I've had my current mobile phone for five years. We're talking here about people who, if they persist with any portable communications tool for longer than five months, consider it a long-term relationship. And my refusal to throw away a piece of technology on the sole basis that it's not as shiny as it used to be isn't the only thing that causes surprise and consternation; there's also an element of bewilderment that I'd stubbornly continue using a phone from 2009 which only allows me to make and receive telephone calls and text messages, when there are devices out there which would let me hold a worldwide video conference while simultaneously playing Mahler's First Symphony and shampooing my pubes. (As if there aren't already enough conferences like that going on in the world).

In contrast, the only surprising thing for me about this phone reaching its five-year anniversary is that all of my other mobiles tactically self-destructed long before hitting that milestone. I think three years was the previous record, and when I came to replace my old knackered Nokia on that January day late in the last decade, my only concern was with finding a phone that would keep me in touch with the world until about 2012. It wasn't easy - wherever I went, gelled-up salesmen were trying to push £100 super-gadgets on me with promises of eternal Bluetooth connectivity - but like Indiana Jones sniffing out the Holy Grail, I chose simply and wisely. Five years of faithful service for a tenner. And I haven't even had to sellotape it back together yet.